When
it comes to discussing wedding menus with my clients, the ‘hog roast
question’ is right up there with the ‘cake as pudding question’.
There is a time and a place for hog roasts and it’s not necessarily your wedding day.
But how can you tell whether it would suit your day? I hope this helps.
Don’t have a hog roast if…
1. …you’re uncomfortable with the phrase “big, bloody, raw, dead pig”
At the end of the day that is what it is; trotters on, head-off,
hairy skin crisping, tail waving in the breeze. If you are at all
squeamish (or have invited even one vociferously vegetarian guest)
advance down this route at your peril.
2. …you haven’t told your guests
Picture the scene: female guests wobbling across the lawn in their
high heels, trying to eat a hot bap elegantly without ruining their
manicure or dropping ketchup on their beautiful dresses, tutting as
their other halves wipe greasy hands on their new suit trousers.
Please, if you are having a hog roast, mark it clearly on your
invitation so that people come prepared wearing wedge heels and with
wet wipes to hand.
3. …it was all his idea
Men. Meat. Fire. Often I find the hog roast idea comes from a groom
who has whimsical dreams of standing next to the BBQ… sorry I mean hog
roast… whiling away the hours with a few beers and a group of his
mates. This isn’t what happens on your wedding day. If you don’t
believe me ask your married friends about their experiences. Accept
that you’re hosting a big event for many, not an afternoon at home for
a few.
4. …you’re worried about the weather
Hog roasts involve fire so cannot be done indoors, hence good
weather is essential. In the UK it can rain on up to 200 days of the
year, so I urge every couple planning their reception in Britain to
“hope for the best but plan for the worst”. However, if you are willing
to bet that your wedding day will be on one of those precious remaining
165 days (minus those in freezing winter) then go for it. If you are
set on an outdoor extravaganza, better to move the location to Bondi
Beach or Provence.
5. …you want a relaxed atmosphere
Hog roasts (like buffets) do not, as you might think, provide a
relaxed ‘eat what you like when you like’ meal. In fact the opposite
can be true. The hungry people rush in first, other guests wait
politely and end up with less, family cliques move 20 chairs round one
table and (ironically) a lot of guests choose to sit and wait for
someone else to bring them their food anyway. If you really want a
relaxed atmosphere, great service is the key.
Do have a hog roast if…
1. …you’re looking for vintage style or a rock ‘n’ roll look
Be aware that there is a good way and a bad way to do a hog roast
but never a particularly pretty way. For good, see Vintage at Goodward,
for bad see local rugby club. No two hog roast providers offer the same
thing, so choose carefully and double check that you’re getting
‘English village fair’ rather than ‘kebab shop window’.
2. …you’re wearing a frock (not a gown) or jeans (not a suit)
I know firsthand that long, expensive, structured, embellished
bridal gowns do not mix (in anyway) with grease, grass, mud, ketchup,
smoke and a bap. However, rock and roll weddings, short, funky,
50’s-style frocks, bohemian style summer dresses and medieval bustiers
look fabulous.
3. …you’re inviting less than 50 guests
The average pig will serve 70 people, as a snack, so I think 50 people per pig for a meal is perfect.
4. …it’s your pig
I did a fantastic wedding for a foodie couple who had raised their
own pig for the purpose of having it butchered for their wedding. They
provided the finishing touches to the meal (herbs, greens, flowers)
making it so very personal. I love creating bespoke menus; it is a
message to your guests and a reflection of who you are. We had the most
amazing day in their Orchard and it all felt absolutely right.
5. …you never want to speak with your vegetarian friends again!
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